About Us...And Them

OK, so what the hell is a "Mall Ninja"? So glad you asked...

Trust me, he'd rather be working inside the mall in February...

Them...

To elaborate, Mall Ninja are the nation's most fearless and effective defenders of our most highly vulnerable and crime-prone locations-our own domestic shopping malls. Behind the scenes, these highly trained operators use their extraordinarily far-reaching tactical skills, and when necessary, their high level government connections to ensure absolute safety for all mall-goers everywhere. If you are within 1000 yards of a mall-any mall- you can be sure that the Mall Ninjas can spot you.

Screening team in light gear, source unknown, supposed to be South Square Mall in Durham NC

They patrol your Mall...

Entry screeners are only one of the many positions filled by these mall defending operatives, for though cross training, and maintaining efficacy in all areas of their required skills is essential among these agents, areas of tactical specialization are recognized, and agents are most often assigned to a position they can excel at. Sniper teams, breachers, gasmen, sappers, CQB and entry teams, narcotics specialists, plainclothes agents (often decoys), custody officers, reconnaissance scouts, and vehicle crews are all standard behind the scenes fixtures of any mall defense organization. Each of these operators are grouped into teams, usually composed of one or two men from each area of specialization.

Thought now to be the only existing photo of the legendary Mall of America's elite Food Court Team 6

They Train in Ninjutsu...

Each of these agents, besides whatever special training they have received in their past career history, varied though it may be, is required to train in the ancient art of Ninjutsu to fill out their professional skill sets -thus, a operator may be well versed in both all that modern military, law enforcement and special operations has to offer in the way of tactics and training, as well as being fully aware of and well trained in the most stealthy and deadly of the ancient fighting arts, ninjutsu. The skills of a true ninja require some modification when used in an urban environment, as well as the focus of the art itself, assassination-clearly not the focus of an onsite protective tactical team of Mall Ninja (as they are more commonly known, by the few powerful men outside their circle).

They have many other mad skillz and 133t gear...

Each niche position, be it sniper or decoy snack vendor has a wealth of training dedicated to that particular skill. Each of these particular areas of training has a section dedicated to it in Tactics and Training (Coming Soon)-as well as an extensive examination of Mall Ninja "Tools of the Trade".

They occasionally talk too much, and get noticed...

Several mall ninjas of the many thousands standing guard have achieved notoriety in their field for their service record of heroic exploits. Others are well known among the Mall Security community for their eccentricity, or even for having leaked information about their Mall Security position. Dossiers on all of these well-known ninjas have been put together on the Real Mall Ninjas page, at great risk to life and limb to us here at MallNinja.com...Online activities of Mall Ninja have been recorded in the Mall Ninjas Speak Out section. The first hint of what Mall Ninjas were are recorded in Mall Ninjas Speak Out. Madcap antics ensue...

Oh, And Us?

MallNinja.com (as it was originally known), or mallninja.neocities.org if you want to get formal, is my own recreation of the original website created in all its 2002 glory; an archive of which I serendipitously came across on the Wayback Machine posted by Mike Rolfs on lonelymachines.org, and the rest is history. I'm not affiliated with anyone who originally created the site, I simply think it's a wonderful part of the internet that deserves to be preserved.


But enough of all that sappy B.S., here is the original description:


"MallNinja.com itself is the culmination of over 4 year's research on the subject of Mall Security, and the massive shadowy corporation that funds Indoor Retail Security personnel. Our views on just who is behind this massive organization, and the subsequent series of cover-ups, payoffs and media blackouts that keep their organization secret, and out of the spotlight, are formally organized for online publication here, as well as our findings on individual operators themselves. We poke around, do the research, get the info, and share what we can about this most secret of organizations, and it's members and methods.

We also collect the Mall Ninja Fan Art and Haikus that keep arriving, and have a weekly comic by Will Pierce, a gentleman and a scholar. The site is updated twice weekly, Wed and Sat. and the current influx of new material ensures that there is still plenty to come here at MallNinja.com."

MallNinja.com Webmaster, Editor and Whipping Boy,

-Juggernaut